Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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