Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
