sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
