I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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