Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
