So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
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