U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
