moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
