white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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