its not stalking. its research.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
