i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
