You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
