So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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