Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
