Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
