from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
