just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
you had me at cake vodka
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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