im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
