I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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