WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize