A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
