Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
