Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
