The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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