spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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