While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is the high leading the old right now
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
third nipple confirmed
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
