AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
