He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My balls are so social today.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
