Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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