Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
