what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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