Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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