oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
