Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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