that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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