i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
