Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
