Your face is a jimmy john
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
being pregnant is like rehab
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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