I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
