i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
