So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
