I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
