I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize