I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
