if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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