i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
