i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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