I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
