I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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