he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
