its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
