For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
