dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
