after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
