the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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