I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
