Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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