He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
