everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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